Fenton Beck Flatt Born Today

With Titi and Dad at Mom's bedside, we watched him come into the world...

Born approximately 3:15am

George Washington University Hospital

Weight: 8lbs 13oz

Height: 19.5inches

Welcome to the world Fenton!  We love you!

Mother's Day May 2009

I had a great mother's day this year. Nothing major. Just a simple day. We all strolled down the street to our local diner for brunch and then the kids and dad washed my car and vacuumed it. This was no small feat given the amount of crumbs that had collected on the floor, in the seats, etc... The kids put on their swimsuits and each took a rag to the dirty car. Dad squirted them with the hose, setting off squeals galore. The day was sunny and bright with a nice breeze. Perfect! 

Tres in The City April 2009

For Tres' spring break this year he and I did a "mother/son road trip" to NYC. It was the first time for me to drive up to NYC and into Manhattan all by myself and the first time for Tres to set foot in NYC (although he has driven over the GW bridge a few times in route to and from D.C. and Cape Cod). We stayed with a good friend of mine from high school whose family lives on the Upper West Side.

Tres had a great time. The best part of the trip for him wasn't the ferry ride to Staten Island to see the Statue of Liberty, the observatory on the Empire State building, 42nd street, South Street Seaport/Brooklyn Bridge, or Museum of Natural History. Rather, it was hanging with his friends, Demetria and Keifer. 

Catching Up to My Normal Routine

Have you ever felt like you are constantly having to catch-up on things? Periodically i feel like this, particularly when the calendar gets too packed with stuff (e.g. book club, weekends away, business trips, visitors over the weekend, parties, etc...). Part of it or most of it is self-inflicted. I make these plans and they sound good when i am planning them but once the day to implement the plans approaches i often feel ambivalent.  

I think the ambivalence stems from the fact that i really like my "normal" routine. It has balance.  It is easy. It requires little or no planning and is fulfilling.  So when things get busy, it disrupts my equilibrium and then i feel like i spend a lot of time catching up to my normal routine.  I guess that's the nature of the beast. That's life!  

Anyway, part of catching up to my normal routine, includes writing more blog entries so i hope to write a few more before this month ends!  

St. Pattys Day in NYC

Before the month of March is gone, i thought i would write a quick note about a recent business trip to NYC. I was there over St. Patricks Day which is a VERY BIG DEAL in the City. It wasn't that big of a deal growing up in Texas but i NYC there are so many Irish Americans that the City is covered in Green on St. Pattys day.  Everywhere you turn on St. Pattys day in NYC, people are wearing green sweaters, ties, scarfs, hats, socks...and all the Irish pubs are flying the flag of Ireland proudly.  

After my colleagues and I finished our meeting on St. Pattys day, we went to the local Irish pub near the NY office (one block away) and of course it was packed. There was a traditional Irish band playing, including a fiddle and accordion. One of the young female accordion players in the band was the daughter of one of my colleagues.  He was very proud to see her up there on the stage.  That night he was sort of passing a baton of sorts to her as he use to play the fiddle in a band at this Irish pub on St. Pattys Day and we use to all go over to the pub to listen to him play and drink Guiness.  

California Uber Alles!

My husband and I just spent a great long weekend in the California Bay area.  I LOVE the Bay area, in particular the pungent smell of the mile high Eucalyptus trees, the micro-climates, the light breeze and birds-eye vistas of the City from hilltop trails above Palo Alto, the ubiquitous yellow fields of mustard, the warm sunny February skies of Half Moon Bay, the wineries, the redwoods, the art, the cliffs, the Ferries, the Embarcadero, the amazing egg scrambles, the list goes on and on!  Despite the earthquakes, California rocks!  California Uber Alles!  

Different Sides of the Same Coin

I just finished a whirlwind business trip. The day started out very early in route from D.C. to Chicago, and after spending a day in Chicago, it finally ended in San Francisco. The day 18-hour, two-flight, 4-taxi cab journey was a bit exhausting, but by the time i settled into my hotel room that same night, i felt exhilarated! Why?

The meeting with my colleagues in Chicago went really well. (The discussion was interesting and thought provoking.  I met some new colleagues and got reacquainted with some others.)  I was looking forward to more of the same with some colleagues in San Francisco the next day.  

In addition, I was also looking forward to my husband joining me later that evening over some good friends' house for a long weekend "sans the kiddos".  In fact, it would be the first long weekend away from the kiddos or at least the first one since our 18mo. old daughter was born. 

I use to not view the world through "kiddo glasses", that is "with kids" and "without kids", but now that i have them, i can't imagine viewing the world any other way. I love my little ones. I do not like being apart from them.  Sometimes my job requires me to travel away from them though and when i do, i miss them -- terribly!  

At the same time, however, i also enjoy spending time with my husband away from the children and with my colleagues at work.  I also enjoy spending time by myself.  These are the many different sides of the same coin.  They are not mutually exclusive. They are the same.  They are me: Wife and mother of two young children that i dearly love.  A woman with a career i enjoy and numerous hobbies i have no time for! 

Reading 101

One of the favorite things my husband and i love to do with our children every day (usually in the evening before bed) is to read to them. It is so cozy to sit next to them, to capture their full attention, to read the story, and to listen/answer their questions. Now that my son is getting older (4.5years old), the tables are beginning to turn as he has started to read to us.

I'm not talking about reading Moby Dick or The Fountain Head type of stuff, but rather the "Biscuit the Dog" , level 1 reading type of stuff! He started reading a couple of months ago after he received some level 1 books for Christmas. The stories consist of about five sentences and have three to five words per sentence. (Okay so we are really talking about stories that consist of 25 words!) Nonetheless watching him hold the book, read the title of the book, open the book to the first page, read the words, turn the page and finish the book is amazing to me!

I can't recall when i first began to read, but i do recall that it was later (6+). In fact, i remember learning the alphabet in Kindergarten! My son's preschool teacher told me that children on average learn how to read between ages 3-8. That is quite a large variance in age and experience. Reading as we all know is so important as it teaches us how to think, imagine, write, speak, vocabulary, etc...

Obviously my son still has a long way to go in terms of "learning how to read" and developing a deep love and appreciation of reading. He has only just begun! So we can still look forward to reading to him every night for many years to come. In fact, I hope he will always let me read to him when he is old as his parents are!

25 Things about me that you may/may not know...

A friend recently did a post listing 25 things about herself at the request of another friend (apparently her friend asked 25 friends to share 25 things about themselves or something like that. She was one of the 25.). Anyway, i found the post interesting. I knew some of the 25 things i read about her, but i learned a few new things as well. So i thought i'd do a similar post for today.

1. I am a mother of two: boy and girl.

2. I am have been married over 15yrs

3. I am a twin.

4. I am the older twin (by one minute)

5. I am not the evil twin (aka: jemela mala).

6. I LOVE my twin! (and her husband, my nephews Ridge and the one due in May)

7. I have an older brother and sister (and love them and their 6 combined offspring too!)

8. I figured out a many years ago that a lot of things i thought were so important in my youth, are in fact totally overrated!

9. I love listening to David Gilmore by David Gilmore

10. My grandmother told me i was the "adventurous twin"

11. Until i had children, i use to day dream every once in awhile about getting lost in the desert with band of nomadic bedouins under the sheltering sky

12. I saw Pink Floyd play "The Wall" in concert at the Berlin wall in 1990

13. I spent a couple of summers working abroad -- for a nonprofit in Coslada, Spain (after college) and teaching English in Costa Rica (before graduate school).

14. I also spent a summer working and traveling with my husband in Slovenia and Eastern Europe during Graduate School.

15. I have felt the earth move in San Jose, Costa Rica and Mexico City

16. I have seen death in the afternoon in Madrid, Spain

17. I love the ripe smells of life: mulch, sulphur by the ocean/bay, and muck in horse stalls

18. I love the smell of my children and everything about them!

19. I have the constant urge to hug, squeeze, and kiss my children

20. My husband and I check on our children a couple of times each night before we go to bed just because...

21. I like listening to my husband read to our family

22. I like hanging solo or with one or two friends more than hanging with a big group of people

23. I like to horseback ride, to paint, take pictures, read, and blog

24. I wish i had more time for these activities!

25. I am still learning...

Truisms of the week

Today is a gift, that is why they call it the present! (Eleanor Roosevelt) 

Indeed it is. I am so thankful to alive and to be blessed with great friends and family. My husband and I talk about it all the time.  I pinch myself every once in awhile. That isn't to say that i don't have my moments, hours, or days when i don't feel so fortunate, but rather sad. I do.  However, when i am down i remind myself that it is a choice. I can choose to be happy or sad.  Of course, i choose to be happy!  Sometimes it isn't that easy, but i keep plugging along, shaking things up until i am.  

The quote has a lot to say about living in the present, not living in the past, and not postponing life until the future.  When i was a lot younger i use to not live so much in the present. I was always striving to achieve some goal in the future.  And once i achieved that goal i would be happy, but then I would immediately establish another goal to achieve.  This served me well for a long while (e.g. I graduated from some good schools with good grades, got a good job, got promoted quickly, traveled extensively, etc...).  However, there came a point in my life in my late 20s when i realized that i wasn't so happy, that i wasn't allowing myself to indulge in the present. To have fun, enjoy friendships, etc....  I got sick of striving for something all the time, not living in the now, sacrificing today for tomorrow.  When would it end? It never would! 

So i started reading things like the Tao Te Ching and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and i stumbled upon another truism: 

Betting today on tomorrow is a bad bet. 

I agree and since then (15+ years now!), i have tried to live my life more in the present. Of course i am still a strategic thinker by nature and prone to planning for the future, but i make it a point to be happy today. To live in the now, not in the past.  No more waiting for the future. The future is now, the present and the present is a gift!!!   

Florida Weekend in Review...

Yesterday my family and i returned home from a long weekend in Florida. We had a great few days of fun in the sun away from the cold ice and snow.  We stayed at some very good old friends of ours who live near the beach.  Below are some of the highlights from the weekend. 

1) Hanging on the beach and watching the waves crash on the shore; building sand castles, chasing seagulls, flying kite, throwing the Frisbee and football with my son and daughter.

2) Sleeping like a den of bears in the guest bedroom.  My daughter slept in her portable crib to the left of the bed and my son slept on an air mattress to the right.  Very cozy.  On the first night, our daughter woke up at 1:00am and saw us sleeping on the bed and got so excited she stood up in the portable crib and shouted "momma" "dadda" over and over again.  We repeatedly told her it was "night night" time and to go to bed until our son woke up. After which my daughter got even more excited seeing him in the room and added his name to the list of words she for the next hour or so.  Around 3:00am, we all finally fell back to sleep.

3)Eating, eating, and more eating.  We all love to cook and eat and we did a lot of that over the four day weekend! Including, but not limited to: grilled tenderloin with homemade onion rings and pulled pork barbecue sandwiches! Homemade brownies and rice crispy treats! OMG!

4) Watching the Superbowl! What a game! I am not a rabid football fan like my husband, but what a game it was! Two fantastic teams. Two fantastic touchdowns at the end by the Steelers. What a game!

5) Cuddling on the plane ride home with my daughter. She feel asleep about 30minutes into the 2.5hour flight. She had her arms wrapped around me and her head on my shoulder for two whole hours. Cozy *1000! 

6) Hanging out, talking, catching up, picking up right where you left off, with old friends.

7) Doing #6 with my husband!

8) Watching a special series of Animal Planet on HBO with our good friends, husband, and son (while my daughter slept). Did you know that dolphins and ducks can work together to "squeeze" a school of sword fish, such that they can catch the fish and eat them? Did you know that Polar bears hibernate for 4 months after which they must leave their den to hunt food for their cubs who are vulnerable to being killed by male polar bears! 

9) Watching my son and daughter (try to) walk the little dogs on their leashes.

10) Watching my son and daughter play, hug, kiss, laugh, and bond with our good friends.

11) Coming home!

President Obama and I at the State Department Yesterday...

Compelling title for today's blog entry, no? Did it peak your interest? While the sentence is technically true, one might get the wrong impression...

You see, while it is true that President Obama and I were at the State Department yesterday, he was there to visit the new Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, while i was standing on the sidewalk with several of my colleagues and Dept. of State staff trying to catch a glimpse of him as he arrived for his meeting.

Fortunately we were all able to catch a glimpse of President Obama! And of course, it was thrilling!! His second day on the job and his first meeting with the Secretary of State on her first day on the job at the State Department. Too cool! 

It may sound corny, but small things like that make living and working in the D.C. area worth it!  

The Inauguration of President Obama

On Tuesday, January 20th, we witnessed the 44th President of the United States take the oath of office.  It was an amazing experience! Over 1+million people were there to watch the passing of the torch -- not only to the first African American President, but more importantly to a man that has inspired the hope and trust of a nation to solve unprecedented complex economic and political challenges confronting our nation.

The temperature was in the lower 20s (the windchill made it in the teens).  We wore four layers of clothing to stay warm.  To get to the Mall in Washington D.C., we walked from our home in Arlington, across the Roosevelt bridge (below).... 

To the Lincoln Memorial...

And from the Lincoln Memorial....

To the World War II Memorial...

and from there we stood with hundreds of thousands of other Americans from all over the United States and the globe watching the peaceful transition of power.  

Truism of the week

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints."

I like to read this quote every once in awhile because it makes me think about all the wonderful people, "true friends", that have left footprints in my life, that have been valuable sounding boards, that have been a source of inspiration, that have taken adventures with me, that have made me look at myself in the mirror, that have helped me to evolve, that know me inside and out and celebrate me, that have in short, shaped me into the person that i am today. 

I do not speak with many of my true friends every day or every month and some i have not spoken with in over a year, but yet they are my true friends. They are the kind of friendships that do not change despite the passing of time and living long distances apart.  They are the kind of people who you can see or talk to after a  long period of time and pick-up right where you left off.  They are easy to be with because they are apart of you.  When you see them it feels like going home i suspect because in part, they helped construct you and you them. 

It also makes me realize how many "friends" we have that are really just acquaintances and while acquaintances are nice things to have, they do not leave lasting imprints.  They come and they go. They ebb and they flow.  They wax and then wane...

Friday Confessions

In an effort to get me blogging more (recall one of my New Years Resolutions), i thought i might try a "weekly installment" of something that would enable me to overcome writers block and hopefully be enticing to readers. If you will recall, I started -- but failed to follow-up on -- "my favorite quote of the week" installment. So i am going to try to jump start another series called "Friday Confessions".   

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit upfront that this idea is totally NOT original.  In fact, it is a total rip-off from a friend of a friend's blog, www.thebigpieceofcake.com. If she ever reads this, i hope she realizes what my grandmother -- and a lot of other people -- have said, namely that "copying is a high form of flattery."

Anyway, so here we go.  What do i have to confess? 

1) I have way too many shoes. I am talking about Imelda Marquez number of shoes (sans the gold and diamonds). In fact, i have shoes that i have NEVER worn. I keep them nonetheless because i am determined to wear them!! However, some of these new/never worn shoes aren't "my style" (whatever that means) now. Nonetheless, i am determined to wear them because i loathe wasting money. I also have a hard time getting rid of old shoes. In fact, some of the shoes i have, i have had for 15 years! And i haven't worn them in at least 5 years! Why do i keep them? Because i hate to throw anything away and haven't given them away. Perhaps another New Years resolution will be to give away my old shoes in good condition!

2) Similar to number one, i have too many clothes, including clothes that i have never worn. Clothes i have never worn, include cute little impractical dresses i bought prior to having children. I look at them now and wonder, what was i thinking? However, i still have them and need to give them away or consign them! The rest of the clothes include clothes that i just can't part with, including the business suit i first wore to my first job interview out of graduate school and can still squeeze into! 

3) I am a Feng Shui junky.  Don't laugh! My friends and some family members tell me i am some what of an expert in it.  Of course, they don't exactly call it Feng Shui, but that is what it is.  Anyway, Feng Shui -- as you may know, is the ability to organize any space -- indoor/outdoor, bedroom, bathroom, basement, etc... so that it is functional, "breathe-able" (i.e. the space is clutter free), and visually appealing.  I think it is something akin to what a Landscape Architect does for outdoor spaces and Interior Designers do for indoor spaces sans the expense.  Anyway, a lot of people have this instinct or skill so that would make me one of many.  

Do you have any confessions you would like to share? Please do tell!!!

Is "three" the new "two"?

A good friend of mine is a wonderful mother of two beautiful boys and is contemplating having a third child. She has been thinking about it for awhile and has some reservations which i am quick to remind her is TOTALLY NORMAL!! I mean having one child, let alone three, is serious business...especially in this day and age.  

Anyway, the discussion made me start thinking about having kids all over again...not that i want a third child, but the decision making process we went through in deciding if and when to have children and how many.  I waited as long as i could (or should) to have children and would have waited longer if i could have, but i decided that i should have then before i turned 40.  (Incidentally, I know many women over 40 who have had healthy children.)  Fortunately, we were blessed to have two healthy children: a boy and a girl.

I never assumed that i would have another child after the first one.  However, after i had the first one, i realized that i wanted to have a second.  A friend of mine described it to me this way. "The first baby you have for yourself and the second baby is for the first child." I totally agree with that sentiment. I can't imagine growing up without my brother and sisters -- especially my twin sister and my older brother who i am very close to.  Another friend described having two children this way: "One is an heir, the second is a spare." The reality of this comment is a bit overwhelming to discuss, but you get the point.

So the interesting thing to contemplate is why have three? For moms with two boys or two girls, it is a chance to try for a girl or a boy, but of course the chances remain 50/50 so getting  one more boy or girl should be equally as desirable.  Certainly more children is more resources, work, and less free time, but i am reminded by what another friend of mine said: "Having children is an investment for the future." You will be glad to have them when you are older. They will be a potential source for grandchildren (god willing) and a pleasure to enjoy when they are older! I have also heard several people say that "three" is the new "two".    I assume it means that more people are having three children instead of two, but i don't know many people with three+ kids. 

Working Mothers: Part II

Last week i received an email from a colleague effectively asking me to apply for a job that is my "dream job". It is the kind of job that i've wanted since college and that everyone in my graduate school wanted to get, including me. It is the kind of job that only one in a million people can get.  (Okay so the odds may not be that skewed, but you get the idea.)  The pay! The prestige! The travel to such exotic locations such as Dubai, Mumbai, Namibia, and Zambia!  It's the sort of job that you quickly realize -- once you start working -- that you can't get until you have years and years of experience. 

So after working 15+ years in my field, it suddenly dawned on me that i now fall into that coveted category (for better or for worse) of having "years and years of experience".  I immediately began strategizing on how i would interview for the job.  I would interview them! They would be so lucky to get me! The interview would be a synch! Should i tell my boss? Could i convince some of my colleagues to go with me? The world was opening up to me! I was about to arrive!

Then the reality started to sink in.  Would my life not be my own? Would i still be able to telecommute on Fridays? Would i still be able to have one day a week off?  Would i have to travel to all of those exotic locations all the time? 

Then the reality really started to sink in.  I don't want to work 18/7! I don't want to travel abroad all the time! I don't want to always have to work 5 days a week and never take vacation! I want to be home with my little children and my husband! I want to take my son to and pick him up from school.  I want to eat dinner with them.  I want to be able to put my daughter to bed.  I want to play Blokus with my son and husband after dinner!!

Is it the case for moms with careers that we can't have it all or is it that in fact, we can have it all, just not at the same time? Does something always have to give?  And if we give something up, can we ever get it back? And if we can get it back, is it still the same?  So many questions.  I'm not sure if there any "right" or "wrong" answers... 

Book Clubbing

One of my friends recently invited me to become a part of her book club. Since my spare time is lacking these days, i hesitated to commit, but then ultimately accepted the invite as my past participation in book clubs has always been positive --- for many different reasons. 

The first book club i joined was in Greenwich, Connecticut and consisted of a group of about 10 women.  I went to the first meeting of the group which was actually started by the woman who helped to create the Oprah Winfrey book club.  Anyway, the group of women were really diverse and very FLEXIBLE. In fact, we had a rule that you didn't have to actually read the book to participate in the book club!  (Most of us did read the books most of the time.)  

When we moved from New York to D.C. in 1999, i decided to start another book club with some friends and co-workers premised on the same rules (e.g. you didn't have to read the book to come to the meetings).  The book club was nice, but it didn't compare to my CT book club and after we had our son and moved to Virginia, it sort of lost steam.   

So my "new" book club is set to be a very different experience. First, it isn't so "new".  In fact, the group was started about ten years ago and thus, has a very long history and well established routine and rhythm.  So the only thing that is "new" about the group is me and reportedly the last two "new" members didn't last long...!! 

Any apprehension i may have had about joining the group went away after my first meeting. The group consists of six rather diverse and dynamic women.  Each of them was very engaging and had something compelling to say.  In fact, we talked nonstop about the book (Dreams of My Father by Barack Obama) for almost 2 hours! Afterwords, we had a "Christmas Cookie Exchange" -- a longstanding tradition of the group whereby each member bakes/exchanges 1/2 dozen cookies for/with each book club member.  Great stuff!  

Happy New Year 2009!

It's the beginning of a New Year and with it the opportunity to make some New Years resolutions. Do you have any? Please share some! 

Here are a few of mine:

1) write on my blog more frequently! haha (at least a few days a week)

2) be a "better" person, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, co-worker etc...

3) try to spend more time on my hobbies (e.g. horseback riding, painting, photography)

4) be more patient