Thursday, January 8, 2009

Working Mothers: Part II

Last week i received an email from a colleague effectively asking me to apply for a job that is my "dream job". It is the kind of job that i've wanted since college and that everyone in my graduate school wanted to get, including me. It is the kind of job that only one in a million people can get.  (Okay so the odds may not be that skewed, but you get the idea.)  The pay! The prestige! The travel to such exotic locations such as Dubai, Mumbai, Namibia, and Zambia!  It's the sort of job that you quickly realize -- once you start working -- that you can't get until you have years and years of experience. 

So after working 15+ years in my field, it suddenly dawned on me that i now fall into that coveted category (for better or for worse) of having "years and years of experience".  I immediately began strategizing on how i would interview for the job.  I would interview them! They would be so lucky to get me! The interview would be a synch! Should i tell my boss? Could i convince some of my colleagues to go with me? The world was opening up to me! I was about to arrive!

Then the reality started to sink in.  Would my life not be my own? Would i still be able to telecommute on Fridays? Would i still be able to have one day a week off?  Would i have to travel to all of those exotic locations all the time? 

Then the reality really started to sink in.  I don't want to work 18/7! I don't want to travel abroad all the time! I don't want to always have to work 5 days a week and never take vacation! I want to be home with my little children and my husband! I want to take my son to and pick him up from school.  I want to eat dinner with them.  I want to be able to put my daughter to bed.  I want to play Blokus with my son and husband after dinner!!

Is it the case for moms with careers that we can't have it all or is it that in fact, we can have it all, just not at the same time? Does something always have to give?  And if we give something up, can we ever get it back? And if we can get it back, is it still the same?  So many questions.  I'm not sure if there any "right" or "wrong" answers... 
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2 comments:

Gage said...

You have a great career and you are a caring and loving mother. I know that you can have both. I have known you for a long time. Together we will make it work.

January 8, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Rebecca said...

That's so sweet Gage. Terry, what a lovely husband you have!

I would say, however, that the reality is that we, as mothers and professionals, cannot have it "all" because there is just so much time and so much life to be had. But that's OK. It means we have to think harder about our priorities and what is most important for us at each particular time of our lives. I too have had to make this decision (a few times) and I have chosen time with my children and husband over the "dream" job and I have never regretted it for a second.

We do have to choose. But at least we have that choice to make.

January 10, 2009 at 4:09 PM

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